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Wednesday, September 14, 2005


I'm currently somewhere in the middle of the Highway To Hell. I'm wondering if I should turn back and move down the Road to Salvation.

Slowly, but surely
as I count the days to my departure.

This week, I've been walking to my grave. Next week, I'll be taking the walk back and down the Road to Salvation. Oh, how I can't wait.

**********

Today was rather stupid, I think. Actually, I can't really remember this moment - what happened. It's always that way. I come back from school and I plonk my bag on the floor, and I sit down for a moment - what did I do today? Well. I don't think about it. I move on. Maybe to Judy's room. Or somewhere else around the Boarding House. The thought of what I did in the day, never crosses my mind during this time.

Suddenly, you know, someone asks me 'So how was your day?', or maybe something like 'What happened?' I'd stand there thinking hard about what I did. Slowly, things start coming to mind:

School. School. School. Work. School.

I can't think of anything else but school. Basically, I have a terrible memory. Terrible. You don't know how much I want to emphasize the word terrible. I forget things too easily.

Like last year's Australian Hist and Geo content. I can't remember more than 40 years of Australian History! I can't remember what changing community I did as a case study! And this is terrible because I need to know such things for tomorrow's exam. If I don't, I can kiss 60% weighing of marks for both Aust. History and Geog -- goodbye -- which I don't particularly want to do, of course. I'd really like to do well.

After this trial exam, I am free. Free. Free like a bird. (Judy, please don't hate me for saying that :) )

I did my Maths 4-topic test today. About 20 minutes into the hour and I was feeling overconfident that I could very well score an A. Five minutes later, and I realise I missed a page of questions. It was Chance & Probability. Less than a minute later, I realise I have also missed another page of questions. Graphs, this time. The nerdy little demon in me screamed, and my mind echoed with paranoia. I knew I was done for. I knew it was over.

Anyhow, I managed to do most of what I missed in the remaining time. However, I did calculate the marks that I would've lost. I estimated 15 marks. Now really, that is alot of marks we're talking about! I lost 10 in Geography, and now I will lose an estimated 15 marks. I left the class not doing about 5 questions. I can't stand thinking about this. I really want to do well!

**********

We are such weird creatures on this planet. Humans, we call ourselves. I sat in Life After School class today, thinking about how incredibly strange and unique we are, as we watched a video on Human Behaviour/Movement. We're so smart, and so intelligent, that we can come up with words like Earth and human and faeces. Marvelous. We've come up with so many inventions! Like school and lamps and mirrors. Fantastic.

Although, regardless of all our profound inventions and what not, we are such a sad, dumb race. We're greedy, selfish, self-conscious - and we called it human nature. We are many more things, but I'm not going to waste my time typing them all out. I'm too lazy, which, by the way, is also part of our nature. Intelligent, we are, but not intelligent to see that there are people who are dying from hunger and what not while we eat scrumptious dinners and have lavish homes (even a small studio flat is lavish to any poor hungry Ethiopian). We are so dumb to realise how rude we can be sometimes. We are so foolish to feel pressured by fake images and photoshopped people. Are we really that blind?

I really think us humans, the smartest asses living and shitting on the face of this planet, are not as smart as we might seem in text books. We are so dumb. Even if you can do more maths than the smarter monkeys who can do five plus fours, we are still very unintelligent.

**********

What a rant! On us humans. We're quite a despicable race, but whatever, I'm satified with everything there is today. Except for Maths. I mean, what use is trigonometry in our future? Especially in Year 10 Maths. It's not like we're going to walk down the street, see this ladder leaning on a wall and stand there calculating the angle of where the ladder touches the ground and the ground. I mean, almost half of the subject spells USELESS.

But whatever. Sif I really care right now. I need to go study some History and Geography.

Australian History = USELESS (tell me, where the hell are we going to apply this knowledge after school life? just tell me. stories for our wee ones in the future? could they care any less?)
Australian Geography = SEMI-USELESS (all we do is read maps, think about Australia's land and its formations, and talk about change. i understand the maps and all the other skills, but is this really relevant?)

There's a bit of Maths for you to do.

Knock yourselves out,
Cheers.

& turned on the lights; 15:45

about me.

raelene. rae. roro.
eighteen years.
malaysian.
completed her final year of school at st caths, sydney.
is a musician, photographer and aspiring designer.
loves travelling, art, music, great food, clear blue skies, writing and ice-cream.
enjoys drowning in music, strumming random chords on the guitar, playing tennis,
finger-bashing it out on a game console and a bowl of curry laksa.
despises bad traffic, girls with long and fair faces with large contact-lensed eyes, bad food, mascara goop, hard pillows and hard beds.

raeville.

RAEVILLE came about some time in the year of 2001. or 2002. it's been so long that i've forgotten already.
it all started here (i doubt the link works anymore though), in a dodgy little blog page. then it moved to here. a year later, and we moved to better things, namely blogspot.

ps. raeville is best viewed on mozilla firefox. just because it's better :)

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